My Hospice Story: Kimberly Beck-Frate
Bervearment Counselor, Halifax Health – Hospice of Volusia/Flagler
“Nineteen plus years ago I started working for HH-HOVF really as a fluke having met then secretary Trina Flynt at Human Resources Department at Halifax Hospital. She encouraged me to talk with Karen Grant (Grimm at the time) to discuss opportunities in the social work department. I really was not sure that this was the job for me as I had worked with children as a part of a mental health agency for the past several years. However, needing a change in my life I decided to pursue this opportunity and was subsequently hired. Initially, I worked on the west side of the county on the home team and was just getting used to it when I was transferred to the Nursing Home Team out of Ormond Beach working for then PCC Pam Toal. I was not sure about going into the Skilled Nursing Facilities but this proved to be a pivotal move in my Hospice career.
I met a patient named James who was a WWII vet, double amputee recently diagnosed with cancer. During our visits he recounted many stories and taught me so much about life. James advised that besides serving his country and the love of his family, his greatest joys in life were fishing and ball room dancing. He told me that before his death he would like to go fishing one more time as ball room dancing was not an option he joked. I immediately wanted to fulfill this dream and collaborated with Pam Toal and the hospice interdisciplinary team at our weekly meetings. Details were worked out for the fishing trip to occur on the Sun-Glo Pier and transportation arranged due to the patient’s mobility issues. A hospice chaplain offered to go with me as I am a high maintenance kind of girl and needless to say fishing was not my forte.
The day of our trip dawned a sunny picture perfect Florida day and as I was preparing for the trip, our hospice chaplain called reporting he had an emergency and I would have to go it alone. Yikes! I was determined to make this day happen and happen it did. As my husband would say, “I had to dig deep into my country Kimmy roots” to make this happen. With the help of the staff of the Pier and Crabby Joes where the patient enjoyed a wonderful lunch of fried shrimp and a Budweiser beer, and the many fisherman on the pier, the patient had a magnificent day. The Halifax Hospital photographer arrived to take a picture of this wonderful day and the patient had not caught a fish yet. Another fisherman was catching a fish, and loaned us his fish for the photo opportunity. Wouldn’t you know it looked to me like an “angel fish”. All of the people that had a hand in making James’s dream come true that day restored my faith in humanity. James had a superb day and his family thanked our hospice profusely for making his special wish come true. He died two weeks later with yours truly at his side.
I learned many things from James during our journey. One of the most important lessons perhaps was it is often the simplest things in life sometimes that are the most meaningful and that life is to be lived fully until the last breath. I learned about the tenacity of the human spirit and true courage with all he had been through in the war and his life. Also, I learned the value of a good story and the importance of retelling those stories often over and over again. I learned that while true love is hard to find it is possible as he recounted many memories about his wife “the true love of his life”. Additionally, I learned the significance of having a good sense of humor to help you cope with life’s ups and downs and James said “It can get you through most anything”. In addition, I learned that hospice is so much more about living than about dying. I learned that really it is about taking the journey of life with our patient’s and that the wisdom they impart is often so much more than has been given. I have learned to grow and stretch as a person and have developed what is often referred to as the hospice heart. I have received so much more than I could have possibly given along this journey. It is with sincere gratitude that I can report that I am still on this hospice journey while the settings may have changed throughout my career, the one thing that has not changed is that quite honestly I owe it all to James and our little fishing trip that changed my life. Thanks James.”